


12 Days of Christmas with Ouma, Kiibo, and Shrek (Now updated for 2017!)

by TeruTeruObliterator11037



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, LazyTown, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Shrek (Movies)
Genre: 12 Days of Christmas, A family favorite, But its in prison, Christmas Crack, Christmas Presents, Christmas Special, Crack, Crack Crossover, Good times, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Inspired by Christmas Movies, Kiibo is Confused, M/M, Shrek is There, enjoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 16:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8998840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeruTeruObliterator11037/pseuds/TeruTeruObliterator11037
Summary: Ouma can't decide on a Christmas gift for Kiibo. What's wrong with giving them all?2017: Ouma attempts to give 12 Days of Christmas another try, only to be met by his Christmas Past once again!





	1. 2016

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, reader! Hope you are having a lovely day! I have written another Christmas NDRV3 Crack fic, I am so sorry for spamming. I was halfway through writing a serious work, but then it sounded cheesy so I chose to stick with crack. But why am I rambling? I hope you enjoy it!

On the **one** st day of Christmas, Ouma gave to Kiibo:

Hey! We are Number **One** Hey! We are Number **One**

Now listen closely

Here's a little lesson in trickery

This is going down in history

If you wanna be a Villain Number **One**

You have to chase a superhero on the run

Just follow my moves,

and sneak around

Be careful not to make a sound

Oh wait, that's not right

On the first day of Christmas, Ouma gave to Kiibo:

A 1-liter jug of Panta,

(just one, you greddy piglet)

On the segundo tag of Navidad, Ouma gave to Keebler:

 Two Club penguin member ships,

(Kibot always wanted to be artical)

And A 1-lit jug of panta.

On the third dya of Weinachten, Ouma gave to Kiibo:

Three more ahoges,

(Made of his own Hair!1)

Two Club Penguin memershisp,

(Kiibo doesn't know what to do with a ll this pegui)

n

A 1-liter jug of pants

(Kiibo cant wear pants)

On the fourth yda of Chrrethsmahs, Kiibo gave to Ouma,, I mean'

Ouma gvea to Kiibiler:

Four chocolate bars,

(Woah, Kiibo thinks, What a lovely gift! Good change of heart, Ouma!)

eXCEPT IT WAS NOTTTTTT kIBLER'S BAR!!1!1

"gRT OUT O ME SWAMP!@!!!2" CLAMORED A vOIcE !!123

OuMA MAD E A SMOL ANIME gASP!

"S,,,,,,HREK?"

"kAMAKURA KMaUKURA nYAAAAS QUEESN it's moi! yOUR EX BOIFREN!!Q!"

plot twist amirite

"I STILL LOVE YOU KOKICHI SMAMA! IF yOU WaNTED MY ADEVNT CALEMDER Chocolsare, you could have just asked!"

"B-but Shrek," whimpered Ouma, "What I did to you...was unforgivable! Why do you still love me?!"

Shrek put a large, gentle hand to Ouma's soft, yet sunken-in cheeks, wiping away his tears.

"Kokichi," Shrek gently smiled, "You did what you had to do. The massacre of my friends, sure, I was angry about it, but I know now that it was the pressure of being a dictator that caused you to be this way, that caused you to do it. You don't need to hide anymore, I'm here. Once we take you out of this terrible place, I'll bring you to the psychiatric hospital, and you can get better."

Ouma's weeping face became stern, hard, and full of rage. He pushed Shrek's hand aside.

"Shrek, I love you, but I don't ever want to go back there!" he almost screamed, "They made me feel weak, unstable! No, no, no, no! Never again!"

The smaller boy was pacing now, his hands firmly bolted to his head. Shrek stopped him, grasping his shoulder with a firm gaze.

"Kokichi," he sighed, "I'll be there. I'll be sure nobody makes you feel weak or unstable."

Shrek sat down, taking the sobbing boy into his arms. His calloused fingers trapped Ouma's skinny body in.

"I love you," Shrek murmured calmly.

"L-love you too," hiccupped Ouma.

"Merry Christmas" 


	2. 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The not-so heartwarming classic, now updated with a new chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two fics in two days! Yay! I am so excited to post the second installment of the saga! I'm a bit short on time, so I just hope you enjoy the ride!

 on the first day of christmas, ouma gave to kiibo,

one name change 

 _(it was from_ kiibo _to K1-B0)_

_(but that already happened)_

_(regifting saves the economy)_

_(regifting is a sin)_

_(our marriage is falling apart)_

k1-B0 pays no mind to this

 

 

a n y w a y s

 

on the zwitte day of chrystler, ouma gave to K1-B0:

two Robocop™ posters, 

becoz, ya gatta keep ya ego in check,,, ya feel?

"you'll never be as cool as robocop", said yoema,

and one name chaa ana nge

(now it was from K1-B0 to

 **Aveeno®** ACTIVE NATURALS® **positively radiant®** daily moisturizer _(with sunscreen)_ BROAD SPECTRUM SPF 15 _(clinically proven to even tone and texture)_ ACTIVE NATURALS® _TOTAL SOY COMPLEX_ 4.0 fl. oz (120 ml) 

 

 **Aveeno®**  ACTIVE NATURALS®  **positively radiant®**  daily moisturizer _(with sunscreen)_  BROAD SPECTRUM SPF 15 _(clinically proven to even tone and texture)_  ACTIVE NATURALS®  _TOTAL SOY COMPLEX_  4.0 fl. oz (120 ml)  pays no mind to this.

 

 

On the tres (st?) tag of The Wreathed Week, ouma gave to  **Aveeno®**  ACTIVE NATURALS®  **positively radiant®**  daily moisturizer _(with sunscreen)_  BROAD SPECTRUM SPF 15 _(clinically proven to even tone and texture)_  ACTIVE NATURALS®  _TOTAL SOY COMPLEX_  4.0 fl. oz (120 ml) :

three phone numbers to different idol managers to aid him with his budding idol career,

(htey wre just the phone numbers to 3 different Pizza Huts, i mean im sure they know some people

 

 

not helpful people really, jusg some people),

two Robocop™ posters,

just to seal the deal on that **self-worth crisis,**

and one na m e c han e g

(this time, my friend, it was from 

 **Aveeno®**  ACTIVE NATURALS®  **positively radiant®**  daily moisturizer _(with sunscreen)_  BROAD SPECTRUM SPF 15 _(clinically proven to even tone and texture)_  ACTIVE NATURALS®  _TOTAL SOY COMPLEX_  4.0 fl. oz (120 ml)  

to ki-boy

ki-boy pays no mind to this

 

"why," ouma asks himself, "does he pay no mind to this?"

 

 

 

Suddenly, a large figure cast his green shadow upon the boy, his two trumpetesque horns poking out like searchlights.

"That's a picture of him, Kokichi. He left four hours ago while you were preparing the Fig Newtons. You know robots can't eat Fig Newtons."

His all-so-familiar, husky voice was like a new glass wall to who was approaching him: crystal clear.

However, it was the odor of beer, swamp flatulence, and Bath and Body Works Fine Fragrance Mist that sent flakes of hail down Kokichi's spine.

It was Shrek.

 

"Shrek-chan! You came back!" clamored Kokichi, his amethyst eyes bouncing about as he launched himself onto the ogre.

"K-Kokichi, that's...a new nickname." stammered Shrek, beet red on the other side of the hug. 

(Well, I mean he turned a whitish, yellowish, brown because red and green are complementary colors, but please bear with me.)

 Kokichi's ecstasy soon came to a halt, unfortunately. "Shrek, what do you mean Ki-Boy's not here?"

"You've been throwing things at a photo of him. I told you, he left!"

"Seriously? That Ki-Boy was a fake?! What, are you all bailing on me now? Sure, I might lie from time, but I'm a ~~good~~ morally gray person with good intentions!"

"No, it's okay, simmer down, Kokichi. It was just this once. Never again."

"And how do I know that you're not a fakey either?" Kokichi took the opportunity of being so close to his head by pulling on Shrek's gelatinous horns, desperate to find the truth for once.

In a puff of smoke, Shrek was gone.

The horns between Kokichi's bony fingers were now two locks of shimmery pale green hair, and the odor was gone. The only thing in the smaller boy's arms was the neck of a slim, supple-skinned teenager.

Rantaro Amami.

 

 

 

"wait hollup amami-chan? wasnt this supposed to be kiibouma or shrekichi? im not mad about it but"\

"You've Been Pranked."

"elaborate"

"Merry Christmas"

I

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heelloo! First, I would just like to give credit to the user SolUnia for the idea of Ouma just throwing stuff at a picture of Kiibo. They commented it on the previous chapter, and I thought that it was really clever! Lots of love to them!  
> As always, feedback is welcome! Please have a happy holiday season and Merry Christmas for my fellow celebrators!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very sorry.  
> Well, hope you like it! Happy Holidays!


End file.
